Ahmed & Mohammed's Cave Jokes
posted by sadmo at 5:52 AM
6 comments
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Joke : Hussein & Bush
Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said, "George, I called you because I had this incredible dream last night. I could see all of America, and it was beautiful and on top of every building, there was a beautiful banner."
Bush asked, "What was on the banner?"
Saddam responded, "It said Allah is God, and God is Allah."
Bush said, "You know, Saddam, I'm really glad you called, because last night I had a dream too. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was even more beautiful than before the war. It had been completely rebuilt, and on every building there was also a beautiful banner."
Saddam said, "What was on the banner?"
Bush replied, "I really don't know. I don't read Hebrew."
Bush asked, "What was on the banner?"
Saddam responded, "It said Allah is God, and God is Allah."
Bush said, "You know, Saddam, I'm really glad you called, because last night I had a dream too. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was even more beautiful than before the war. It had been completely rebuilt, and on every building there was also a beautiful banner."
Saddam said, "What was on the banner?"
Bush replied, "I really don't know. I don't read Hebrew."
posted by sadmo at 5:45 AM
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Joke : Saddam Questions and Answers
Q. What's Arabic for "George Bush -- leader of the free world"?
A. "George Bush -- mother of all presidents!"
Q. What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A. They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.
Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"
Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?
Q: What's the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.
Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
A: A refund.
Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.
Q: What did Saddam Hussein have in common with his father?
A: Neither knew when to pull out!
Q: What will be Saddam Hussein's last words?
A: "Mother was never good in battles, anyway."
Q: How many Iraqi's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four. One to screw in the light bulb. One to claim that they've actually screwed in 300 light bulbs. One to claim that they've unscrewed 150 American light bulbs. And one to claim that they're screwing and unscrewing light bulbs for the Palestinians.
Good news: Saddam Hussein is living on borrowed time.
Bad news: It was borrowed from a failed savings and loan.
Good news: Saddam Hussein will face war crimes trial.
Bad news is, the trial will be held before the Senate Ethics Committee.
A. "George Bush -- mother of all presidents!"
Q. What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A. They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.
Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"
Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?
Q: What's the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.
Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
A: A refund.
Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.
Q: What did Saddam Hussein have in common with his father?
A: Neither knew when to pull out!
Q: What will be Saddam Hussein's last words?
A: "Mother was never good in battles, anyway."
Q: How many Iraqi's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four. One to screw in the light bulb. One to claim that they've actually screwed in 300 light bulbs. One to claim that they've unscrewed 150 American light bulbs. And one to claim that they're screwing and unscrewing light bulbs for the Palestinians.
Good news: Saddam Hussein is living on borrowed time.
Bad news: It was borrowed from a failed savings and loan.
Good news: Saddam Hussein will face war crimes trial.
Bad news is, the trial will be held before the Senate Ethics Committee.
posted by sadmo at 5:42 AM
0 comments
Joke : Saddam Hussein's Chauffer
Saddam is riding in his limo in the Iraqi countryside when there is a sudden bump and the limo stops. The chauffer gets out, walks around the car and reports to Saddam:
"I just killed a pig. I think it came from that peasant's hut by the road."
So Saddam tells him to go and tell the peasant that he is Saddam Hussein's chauffer and that he just killed the pig and that the peasant must be happy because it really is a big honor, to have a pig killed by the president's limo.
The chauffer goes inside the hut and disappears. About an hour later he returns very drunk, smoking a cigar, and looking extremely happy.
"What happened there?" asks Saddam.
"I went inside, I said what you told me to say, and the peasant hugged me and thanked me, and threw a party in my honor and gave me this cigar."
"And what exactly did you tell him?"
"I said 'I'm Saddam Hussein's chauffer and I just killed the pig!'"
"I just killed a pig. I think it came from that peasant's hut by the road."
So Saddam tells him to go and tell the peasant that he is Saddam Hussein's chauffer and that he just killed the pig and that the peasant must be happy because it really is a big honor, to have a pig killed by the president's limo.
The chauffer goes inside the hut and disappears. About an hour later he returns very drunk, smoking a cigar, and looking extremely happy.
"What happened there?" asks Saddam.
"I went inside, I said what you told me to say, and the peasant hugged me and thanked me, and threw a party in my honor and gave me this cigar."
"And what exactly did you tell him?"
"I said 'I'm Saddam Hussein's chauffer and I just killed the pig!'"
posted by sadmo at 5:39 AM
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Joke : Saddam's Doubles
The Iraqi Security Chief summons all 200 of Saddam Hussein's look alikes and says,
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, Saddam Hussein has survived the US air strike. The bad news is, he lost an arm."
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, Saddam Hussein has survived the US air strike. The bad news is, he lost an arm."
posted by sadmo at 5:37 AM
0 comments